Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Sitting at His feet


I was cooking some meat yesterday. I had some bits that I was going to throw out so I decided to give them to Jack, our weimaraner. He would love them, but they were extremely hot. I told him to sit and 'leave it' and put them in his bowl.

He sat there very still at attention staring at me. He would quickly glance down at the bowl but mostly he sat there staring at me. He didn't take his eyes off me. His head was barely cocked sideways. I felt a little bad for him because I knew how much he wanted it but I also knew that if I let him eat it he would burn his mouth.

I kept working in the kitchen and would glance his way occasionally, he did not move. He was frozen at attention, waiting for me to give the command. He would be ready when he got his okay.

It made me think of the Lord. How different He must see things than we do. Jack may be wondering, "Why can't I have it already Lady? It's right there in front of me. You like torturing me don't you?"

He doesn't know what I know.

It's hot.

It's dangerous.

It's not time yet.

I'm protecting him.

I thought how pleasing it was to me to see him being such a good boy, obeying my command despite how hard it must be for him. It made me want to give him more.

Mostly, I felt it was the Lord reiterating what he had shown me a few days earlier with Jack.

I don't know if I can explain how I feel right now. I feel totally hopeless with nothing to look forward to or hope for. I was wondering where do we go from here? Do we try again? Adoption? I felt frantic inside, wanting to know what is going to happen, how do I move past this place, where there is nothing but painful memories and broken dreams.




So this is where Jack came in. He is a puppy in the top picture. Now he is a BIG boy and he lives in the house with us. We have mostly hardwood floors and he isn't allowed on the carpets.




Yes, that is my foot and Jack's feet. He has some big feet! Do you see those toenails?! When he walks on the hard floors those very toenails make some serious clicking noise. He follows me wherever I go so I get to hear "click click click click" I stop...silence. I start again, "click click click click".

I'm sorry to say it bugs me.




So the other day I walked down the hall (clicking toenails behind me) and went into the bathroom, closing the door and closing him out! Most of the time he will lay down outside the door and wait. This time he walked from room to room looking out of the windows.

All I could hear was "Click click click click....click click click click click click click click click click click click click...click click click click click click...click click click click click click click click click click click click...click click click click click click...click click click click click click click click click click click click...click click click click click click.

It seemed like a lot more clicking than that too!

It was driving me crazy. Why was he walking from room to room like a nutcase?! He is so neurotic. Why does he have to look out of every window and then go back and do them all again? Just lay down outside the door and rest! Wait for me.

DING.

The bell went off in my head.

It was God.



Stop going from room to room looking out every window looking for your answer. You won't find it that way. Just come and sit at my feet. Rest. Listen to me. Wait on me. I alone have the words of life.


The word "burden" is described as being "what Jehovah has given you."




But Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.  John 6:68


So now you understand why the first story of Jack was more of the same idea. He just sat there waiting for me to tell him when he could eat. And I wanted him to eat it, I was just waiting for the right time.

So that is where I am right now. Trying to sit, trying to rest at the Lord's feet. Reading his word, asking for wisdom, thanking Him for the simple pleasures we have in our life.

Today it was very cold. Today we were thankful for dry wood, a woodstove to heat our house so nicely, a roof over our heads, good food and a wonderful church. (okay there was so much more but I won't list them all)


Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you. Psalm 55:22

6 comments:

Hannah said...

Thank you so much for this reminder. Why is it so hard for us?

I know it's even hard to dream right now. Dare we???

God is so good to me and I need to focus on His goodness!!!

Debra said...

It is really hard Hannah. I know you know personally.

There just is no certainty for me right now, I realize that I have to find my happiness in God alone, and be content with what He has given me.

Ali said...

I was really blessed by your post Debra. I needed to hear this.

Blessings,

Ali

Anonymous said...

I followed your blog a while ago until I lost my bookmarks when our computer died. I am so happy that I was able to find you again through a link on Bethany's blog (Happy to Be Called Mommy).

I am so sorry for the loss of Samuel. I've really been touched by what you have shared here. Thank you.

God bless,
Jessica

Debra said...

Thanks Ali, I'm glad. It certainly doesn't come naturally does it.


Jessica, glad you found us again!

Bethany said...

Debra, I just wanted to say that you are an amazing person, and God has gifted you with the ability to express things in such a beautiful way, to uplift, teach, and encourage others as you go through your trials in life.

Samuel and Isabel will always be remembered... you may never know how many people you have touched by sharing their stories with the world.

I pray that you will find peace, hope, encouragement, and everything else that you have so generously and selflessly offered to others in the past few years.