For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139: 13-16
When I was carrying Isabel I would sit and beg God to heal her. I knew he could, but would he? That is a vulnerable place to be.
I came to the realization that God had made Isabel just as she was.
Without kidneys that function.
He made her like that. It wasn't an accident. I don't believe that it was just a fluke, that because there is sin in the world, these things just happen.
Yes, there is sin in the world, but God is NOT in Heaven wringing his hands, powerless to change things. HE is GOD.
Psalm 139 says it plainly:
You created my inmost being
you knit me together in my mother's womb
So then what? Then surrender I guess. Actually that realization has brought the most peace to me. God is not as upset as I am, He has a plan and this is in His plan.
This is a swatch I knit. A swatch is a practice run, to see how the yarn will work, on what size needles.
This is the back side. Knitting doesn't usually look like this on the back. I will unravel this later and use the yarn, but when I saw the back, it reminded me of the poem below. Sometimes our lives look like this to us, all tangled and messed up. But the Lord has his reason for everthing he does. He is not helpless.
My life is but a weaving
between my God and me,
I do not choose the colors,
He worketh steadily.
Oftimes He weaveth sorrow,
and I in foolish pride,
Forget He sees the upper,
and I the underside.
Not till the loom is silent,
and shuttles cease to fly,
Will God unroll the canvas
and explain the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
in the skillful Weaver's hand
As the threads of gold and silver
in the pattern He has planned.
He knows, He loves, He cares,
nothing this truth can dim.
He gives His very best to those
who leave the choice with Him
- Author Unknown