Monday, July 30, 2007

What does Isabel know?

I was thinking the other day that as sad as I feel about Isabel, she is not dead. We had a funeral. We buried her body, but she is alive, just not here on earth with us. I wonder what Isabel knows now? She is in Heaven with God the Father and Jesus and everyone else. Think about it. She could visit with Noah, or Moses or my favorite, King David.

I don't pray to Isabel or think that Isabel is my guardian angel. That is not Biblical. God created the angels, and He created people. They are apples and oranges. They are different. People don't become angels when they die. The Bible says in Hebrews 9:27 "Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment"

My grandma lost a 9 month old baby. That must have been so painful. How nice it must have been for her to see him in Heaven. And I like to think that Grandma and my cousin Kim's little boy, Jacob met with Isabel and told her about the family she never had the chance to know, not on earth anyway. But Isabel is in Heaven, she must know so much more than we do. Surely, she must know about us, about how we love her, and that we are sad. When I start to feel regrets about how I handled our brief time with her, I fret about what I didn't do, or what I should've done, I console myself with this thought: she knows.

God will tell her.

God will tell her all the things that she needs to know about us. And certainly she will know she is loved, and that is all that really matters to me.

My aunt shared a passage in Isaiah 65 with me. Someday, when God creates a new Heaven and earth, the heartache and sorrows we experienced here will be forgotten, we won't remember the pain.

For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth;
And the former shall not be remembered or come to mind.

But be glad and rejoice forever in what I create;
For behold, I create Jerusalem as a rejoicing, And her people a joy.

I will rejoice in Jerusalem, and joy in My people;
The voice of weeping shall no longer be heard in her, Nor the voice of crying.

No more shall an infant from there live but a few days,
Nor an old man who has not fulfilled his days;
For the child shall die one hundred years old,
But the sinner being one hundred years old shall be accursed.

They shall build houses and inhabit them;
They shall plant vineyards and eat their fruit.

They shall not build and another inhabit;
They shall not plant and another eat;
For as the days of a tree, so shall be the days of My people,
And My elect shall long enjoy the work of their hands.

They shall not labor in vain, Nor bring forth children for trouble;
For they shall be the descendants of the blessed of the LORD,
And their offspring with them.

It shall come to pass That before they call, I will answer;
And while they are still speaking, I will hear.

The wolf and the lamb shall feed together,
The lion shall eat straw like the ox,
And dust shall be the serpent’s food.
They shall not hurt nor destroy in all My holy mountain,”
Says the Lord.

Isaiah 65: 17-25

Monday, July 2, 2007

Comforting those who mourn

The other night I was giving my daughter a bath, when Mom came in to say goodbye. She had been here helping out, she was leaving the next morning. I started to cry when telling her goodbye.

My little girl sat in the tub and said softly, "Poor Mama."

In a very serious tone she said "Mama, tum here." as she held out her arms to me. She was imploring me to come over to the bathtub so she could give me a hug, which I did...and then she did.

What a joy and a gift from the Lord she is.

Gracious attendant

Our midwife, Desiree, was with us through it all. She came to doctor appointments just to support us. She came to Isabel's birth too. I snapped this photo of her as the nurse was dressing Isabel and taking her hand and footprints. While I was paralyzed from the epidural, and emotionally numb, she stood over Isabel. I could hear her say things like, "Oh, she is so sweet." or "She is so precious."

That meant a great deal to me.