Thursday, November 12, 2009

A poem for Samuel

If I could go back

Back to before the hopes and dreams

Before the heartache and sorrow

Before all the tears

I wouldn't Samuel.


I wouldn't

Because now I know you.

I know your face.

You are one of us now.

You belong to us

And I would never want to undo that.


I wish I could have seen your little face

break out into smile.

To hear you laugh that baby laugh

Watch you nurse

Play peek-a-boo with your brothers and sister

Watch you sleep on Papa's chest

in the dim light of the lava lamp

But we will have to wait for all those things.


We will spend our lives dreaming of you

And the days ahead when we will get to know you

As you truly are.

Not just an adorable little face

But you as God created you.


Until then, grab your sister's hand.

Enjoy Heaven.

When you see that one of us is coming

Wait for us at the gate.





5 comments:

Tina said...

Oh Debra this poem is so beautiful. I was especailly touched by this line "Until then, grab your sister's hand." I can't imagine having to live through this twice. I am so sorry. I hope you are hanging in there.

Sheila said...

Debra, I found your blog through a pattern link from Ravelry - though I don't know you, I am so sorry for your loss and I am thankful for your faith to see you through. Why you would have to walk this path twice seems so cruel and unfair. God is saving your tears and His heart breaks with yours.

Katie said...

Debra, Thank you for your email and comments on my blog. I am so sorry to hear about Samuel, but thank you so much for sharing your story with me. God bless you and your family. I will be praying for you all as you grieve the loss of yet another baby.

MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

these words are beyond beautiful. words born from love and sorrow, wrapped up in hope.

crying with you, praying for you.

MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

i just realized you wrote this on my christian's birthday.

i can't wait for heaven. i am so thankful for the gift of salvation, so undeserving am i!