We are quiet.
We turn out the light.
We rock.
Often times I cry.
Putting my daughter down to sleep are the times I think most deeply about losing Isabel. My feelings begin to creep out of the misty fog of my busyness. I just barely start to touch them and then I lay her down and it's back to the chaos of life. On to the next thing on the 'to do' list.
Life is so busy. Just feeding the family, feeding the animals, doing laundry, keeping doctor appointments and running errands can encompass every second of the day. That doesn't include keeping in touch with friends and family.
Who has time to include losing a child and coping with that loss on top of those other things? There are more things now...momentos to keep 'somewhere special', thank you cards to the kind folks who gave a gift, sent a card, cooked a meal. On that note, I don't even have a master list of people and what they did. In the middle of the grief, it's not the thing you think of doing.
I suppose it's those little snippets of time added up over time that will work out the emotional healing God wants to bring to us.
1 comment:
I have written something almost identical to this in my diary (on paper, not online). I never even considered the possibility of how much time and work it would take to grieve. When you consider that and subtract it from waking hours, it leaves a lot less time to get all those other daily demands finished, doesn't it?
Bless your sweet heart. I wish it never had to be.
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