Expectations

When I was pregnant and anticipating a healthy baby, I bought this book on ebay. It's by Eloise Wilkin.

The story is about a little girl who, right before her mother and father bring a new baby home from the hospital, is given a baby doll. In the story, the little girl feeds her “baby” when Mommy feeds her baby; she changes her baby’s diapers when Mommy changes the baby; they take carriage rides together and tuck them into bed at the same time.


"We smile at our babies and talk to them. Mommy says this is the way our babies know they are the most wonderful babies in the world."



I was saving the book to give to her after 'the baby' (when she was still anonymous) was born. It still sits in the gift box. I haven't gotten it down because I don't think I could read it to her. There would be more tears.

It's all of these little things that we prepare for and anticipate that are painful to let go of.

I thought it would be such perfect timing. Our daughter is two and a half. She is just starting to like little dolls. She loves real babies. When she sees a real baby or holds one I have to fight back the tears. My heart hurts to think how much she would have loved to have her baby sister Isabel.

Picturing her in my mind holding her baby sister is tough.